Think Progress made some redneck jokes in honor of Jeff Foxworthy’s endorsement of Mitt Romney. They’re pretty beautiful: 
If your wife drives “a couple of Cadillacs,” you might not be a redneck.
If you think $374,000 in speaking fees is “not very much” money, you might not be a redneck.
If your tax return is 203 pages long, you might not be a redneck.
If you think it’s a problem that billionaires aren’t allowed to give you all the money they want, you might not be a redneck.
If your earliest memories include looking down upon the people of New York from a helipadwith you CEO father, you might not be a redneck.
If you think “cheesy grits” from a Hilton hotel is down home southern cooking, you might not be a redneck.
If you only hunt “small varmints, if you will,” you might not be a redneck.
If you help your son set up a business by fronting him $10 million, you might not be a redneck.
If the business is named after the place where your “ski mansion” is located, you might not be a redneck.
If you’re not a NASCAR fan, but you’ve got “some great friends that are NASCAR team owners,” you might not be a redneck.
If you’ve ever made a ten thousand dollar bet, you might not be a redneck.
If you earn more money in a day than most people earn in a year, you might not be a redneck.
If you’re 65 years old and are just now learning to say “y’all,” you might not be a redneck.
If you invest in Dollar stores instead of shopping at them, you might not be a redneck.
If you think “corporations are people, my friend,” you might not be a redneck.
If you think the richest 0.1 percent of Americans need another $264,000 tax cut, you might not be a redneck.
If you think seniors can get by just fine without the promise of Medicare, you might not be a redneck.
And, finally, if you’ve ever posed with your co-workers for this kind of picture,it’s a pretty good bet that you’re not a redneck.

Think Progress made some redneck jokes in honor of Jeff Foxworthy’s endorsement of Mitt Romney. They’re pretty beautiful: 

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